I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
