I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
