I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
