Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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