she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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