i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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