Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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