You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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