I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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