So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize