Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This girl is more easily done than said...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
