hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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