so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize