Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
