I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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