You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
