i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
