If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
