I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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