He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
