I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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