I swear she didn't look like that last week.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
