Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
