Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
