If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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