I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
