She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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