I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
