apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Randomize
