"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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