Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
