Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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