Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
