you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
