You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
