Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
