She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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