Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"

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(216): View more from Ohio

My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!

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(313): View more from Michigan

Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...

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(516): View more from New York

Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.

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(206): View more from Washington

Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)

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(540): View more from Virginia

'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?

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