can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
