I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
