just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
