so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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