why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
