I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
