i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
