I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
