You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
