isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize