Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
