I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize