She is in my trunk
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
