You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
