So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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