Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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