Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
