Need sex. Gaining weight.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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