Buhtt sex?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
