I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
