Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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