so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
