Moan for me like Helen Keller
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize