she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
