Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
