Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
